Tolerance, Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Loving-Kindness – A video blog

Introduction

A short video about a personal journey and observations around Hate, Forgiveness, and Loving-Kindness and the relationship it has to tolerance and acceptance.

Video

Transcript

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my name is Nimesh i’m from melbourne

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australia

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today i thought i’ll speak about

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tolerance acceptance

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forgiveness and loving kindness do i

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really think that i’m suitable to talk

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about this about two days ago if you ask

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me the question i would have definitely

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said

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no why i was in

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a quite the dark space and what amazed

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me was that i actually found myself

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hating a lot of people a lot of world

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around me

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and not only that there was a moment

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where i

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wished that i had the power to

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plant a little bomb right in the center

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of the earth so that everything flows up

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this completely perplexed me because in

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the last three years at least

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i have been loving kindness have been a

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mantra for me forgiveness has been a

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mantra for me

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where i do find myself even being kind

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to

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insects and it’s come so natural for me

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but the last two weeks something within

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me

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bottled up and i found myself

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pretty much hating just about everybody

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and i was really edgy which meant that

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the slightest irritation the slightest

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thing that comes my way i had the

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potential to blow up

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i did sleep quite a bit so

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however we are here now and

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thank god because it feels a lot better

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my body feels a lot lighter

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and i feel much healthier

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now um with regard to

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forgiveness i think i have had

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some traumatic experiences as a young

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adult

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and i do find myself occasionally saying

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how i

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forgive them now

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what i’ve noticed about this

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part of forgiveness especially with

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regard to what came up

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in the last couple of weeks all these

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things also came up

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how unfair the world has been what i

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found out was

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that i have

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tolerated those incidents

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and i have put them under the carpet

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and i have walked over them and the

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forgiveness i

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have had is almost like

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i don’t want to address that

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now these days i’m working with a

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gorgeous psychologist

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which is great news after um

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trying to do things on my own quite

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stubborn

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i have finally acknowledged that i

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definitely need help and i’m working

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with a psychologist on it

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now

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tolerance now we’ll if i go back to the

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topic what i also noticed recently is

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that the edginess

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if we talk about the adrenals let’s

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pretend we are walking

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uh somewhere in a rush and there’s a

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older

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very much older person right in front of

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us walking

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very slow now this is obviously going to

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block our speed

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um now we may go okay

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and breathe and go okay so literally we

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might actually even tell ourselves that

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that is an older person they that is

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their speed and we are gonna now

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pause for a second um and we

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we avoid the situation we then they move

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away

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and we um we go our own way

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but if this happens again and again

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and again by about the fifth time

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if we have what i name as tolerated

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we would have actually now gone

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frustrated

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now instead of being kindly asking that

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person to can you please move away we

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might actually blow up

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at this innocent person who’s got

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nothing to do with us

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they don’t probably don’t even know we

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exist behind them trying to overtake

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them

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now tolerance

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i have found has been

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quite detrimental it is probably better

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than

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being being rude in a particular

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situation but

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instead of walking my truth and asking

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permission to for my journey if i have

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tolerated

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and just bottled it up push it under the

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carpet

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you avoid the situation but one baggage

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item is in your bag now

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so you might not remember it after a

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while but you have just

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suppressed one place where

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it wasn’t authentically your truth

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now if i take the older person and

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slower person to the example again

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instead of tolerating if we sort of like

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pure-heartedly acknowledge

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that that this is that person’s journey

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and they’re not doing any harm now

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if we’re in a rush to go somewhere we we

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probably don’t have what is

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like so valuable these days the time to

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actually process all of these things

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uh so what probably would be better is

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for me to sort of say excuse me when you

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do this

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it irritates me or excuse me can you

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please move aside so that i can go

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because i’m in a bit of a rush

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now i can still be polite about it and

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and

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and and work on my truth my personal

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journey and it is

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it is my part there’s no rudeness in

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that

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but what i noticed is after blowing up

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a couple of times randomly for useless

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things

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i realized actually i have tolerated

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certain things without wholeheartedly

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accepting or

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or communicating hey this is like we

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need to find a balance in this

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relationship somewhere

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so tolerance versus uh acceptance

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and also accepting them and us so

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intolerance we are sort of going i’m

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better almost because i’m tolerating you

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in acceptance we are equal therefore i’m

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accepting myself and my needs as much as

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i’m accepting you

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and your needs now have i mastered the

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art

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definitely no and part of me is now

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scared that the universe will give me

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a bit of a test if you spoke in the

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theory go for a test and see for

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yourself because often it has happened

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to me and it is

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usually i fail miserably and it’s sort

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of like

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oh i actually did speak about it as if i

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know what i mean and then i’m now

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practicing it and i’m nowhere close to

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what i spoke about

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so part of this video making i’m a bit

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terrified that oh my god will this

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situation happen to me now now i have to

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practice it but

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hopefully the if it comes up to me in my

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path

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hopefully it’s a bit gentle and i will

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have enough

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breathing space to practice what i’m

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preaching but

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true forgiveness i do not think comes

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from tolerance

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without true forgiveness i do not think

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there is true loving kindness

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now today at the shower i realized after

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opening the tap that

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a little and i believe it was an end i

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tried to find out what it was but

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it was it was now going down in the

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drain with the water and i was going

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oh no i couldn’t save it but

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unlike any other day where i would beat

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myself up i sort of went

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okay that happened and the next moment i

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was presented with another opportunity

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there was a tiny little spider

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that i actually managed to rescue with a

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little toilet paper and just

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moved aside i don’t know whether the

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site was thankful for that because i

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couldn’t communicate but it basically

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i basically saved its life by my

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presence like

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or else my presence and activity would

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have killed it uselessly randomly

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so uh that that itself i felt that

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there was acceptance the previous

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situation was

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i actually accepted that actually i did

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not see that it was unconscious it just

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happened

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and the second situation it doesn’t mean

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that just because a previous accident

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i’m not good enough anymore

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i could actually do something about the

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second situation uh

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now in a good headspace this week today

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i’m able to practice what i preach and

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i’m able to see all of these things but

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last week with a completely different

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story i was bad i was

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ugly i was everything just about just

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about all the negative things i was i

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was

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and uh this video is is an outlet for me

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as well and also uh i am quite

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passionate about

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talking and writing about what i learned

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along my journey so

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i hope you have got something out of

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this um

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and once again to as a recap

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tolerance does not bring um

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the other person fully into the picture

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you’re not fully accepting yourself as

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anyone truth either

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you’re sort of it’s almost like you’re

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either higher

0:09:03.519,0:09:07.040
than them or lowered and then you’re

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sort of tolerating a situation and

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you’re actually avoiding a situation

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acceptance you’re bringing that that

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person’s needs and your own needs

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and true forgiveness only can happen in

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a place space of acceptance

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and without true forgiveness to your

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yourself and others

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there’s no love or no room for loving

0:09:23.519,0:09:28.080
kindness

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so on that note i will end this talk i

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hope you have a great day i’m in

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melbourne australia it’s a nice and warm

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day 20 degrees today my mother and i are

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planning to go to the city just randomly

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uh because we have been locked down in

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during code and it’s

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doing quite the heading for me actually

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probably did a lot mental health wise

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so i hope wherever you are you’re having

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a great day if you’re on the lockdown

0:09:49.120,0:09:51.920
again

0:09:50.320,0:09:54.080
please take care of your mental health

0:09:51.920,0:09:55.200
it has we have really underestimated

0:09:54.080,0:09:57.760
what it does to us

0:09:55.200,0:10:00.080
and i have personally experienced the

0:09:57.760,0:10:03.279
last nine months being locked up

0:10:00.080,0:10:05.279
it really does things to your head that

0:10:03.279,0:10:06.560
brings out things that you don’t like

0:10:05.279,0:10:07.920
about yourself but it’s good if you’re

0:10:06.560,0:10:13.200
working on it

0:10:07.920,0:10:13.200
all right have a great day good luck

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