I thought of taking a moment to thank the patients I met at Ward GE, Nambour General Hospital, Sunshine Coast, Queensland, Australia.
The first day I was there as a patient, admitted as an involuntary admission, as my friends were extremely concerned about my mental health, after the initial fear and confusion melted down, I decided to talk to people and make friends. (This was after I had asked the staff if they needed a hand with anything, which was refused, and I was bored!)
But, I struggled to remember names, which was nothing new for me. So while I was colouring, I asked the names of everyone who was with me.
I met a lot more people, but I didn’t write them down. Mostly, I remember how everyone just connected with me, and their kindness, that I hadn’t really seen in the outside world at that time.
I told myself:
So this is crazy, and mentally ill?
They help each other, they care for each other, they share their food.
I don’t see this Love as crazy or mentally ill at all.
I am confused!
Over time, during the 3 days I was there before being released, I did see small behaviour differences.
- Some screamed really loud. I thought someone was harming them. It was only about some blood test. Of course the Nurse decided to use me as an example to show the one who screamed how painless it was!
- Another was crying, and wasn’t settling. By that stage I was known to be surrounded by everyone who joined me in colouring. The Nurse decide to use me asking if this girl would like to sit with me and colour.
- Finally, I remember very well, Daniel. He was wearing the same bracelet Lukas and I had exchanged as a token of Love. He smelt pretty bad. He had quite a bit of hate captured. He was talking about someone cheating, I think it was about his wife. Then he also spoke about Guns and wanting to kill. I asked him to colour with me. He picked the most complicated drawing to colour. And he was pretty bad at it. He gave up, and said something hateful (it was about some money matter, and saw me as someone in need of money). When he returned, I showed him all my colourings in the order of sequence, and showed him how bad the first one was. Then showed him, how it improved with practice. He then calmed down and coloured. He gave up pretty easily, and went out for cigarettes. He then came back to me to say no one speaks to him. I made it a point to go out to the smoking area and sit close to him. Just be there. Sometimes, just in silence. I also remember at one point finding him very attractive. Over time, I saw him outside. I wondered why I wasn’t allowed to smoke (for which Nurses said it wasn’t allowed, and reminded me that I had said I had quit smoking, of course me changing my mind didn’t have any impact), and why I wasn’t allowed outside of the main section (for which I thought, I have to get used to seeing nature and trees from behind the bars of the outside area)
All of these people reminded me of my friends, my colleagues, and Lukas. Each had a mix of attributes that I had seen before in my friends. They taught me Love, they taught me to be Confident, and most importantly they showed me their authentic selves, thus, their hearts.
We knew we were in it together!
I don’t remember their faces, except Daniel (that too only slightly).
But, I remember their hearts!
I love them all! Everything, and Everyone has taught me, to be me, to see me, through which to see everything.
🙏 Thank You 🙏
– Nim –