Painting “my” world through “my” writting
I have had this as a habit since I was a child, but had forgotten about it in the last few years. Mostly my writing had been to an audience of one, or to an audience of none.
Initially they were letters to my father, when I was very young, and he used to work in the Middle East, while we lived in Sri Lanka. There was a common structure to my letters to him, inquiring how he was, telling how we are, more importantly what my sister had been upto, and then a list of things I’d like him to bring for me when he came down for holidays. He had collected all of these. I can see, despite I saw my self as a needy little prick, he would have seen it as “cute” or “adorable”, as I had spoken my mind out.
Then it was mostly letters, unless it was for studies. All these letters always captured my own experiences and my learnings. Now I know it was a very good way to reflect on one’s own self.
Although I wanted to write a book, I never imagined writing my heart out in a blog, having a perfectionist aspect to me. It had to be perfect! I had wanted to fictionize my story. But this didn’t happen for the last two years, and knowing life can be very short, I do not wish to delay any further, so I have forgotten about fiction, and have started to write facts about my own history, or facts about my learnings.
Hence, now I write to tell the world my story, and my lessons. Some of them capture spiritual messages, some economical and social issues seen in today’s world, especially looking into the hypocrisies, with my own experience of life, and some about my romantic and lustful self.
I would like at least to do my teeny-tiny little part to contribute to the world, to make a change, through my loving kind messages.
Due to certain beliefs and people’s own egos and perceptions, people may not necessarily hear what I say, instead try to find fault in my writing, or fault in me to criticize or insult. I personally have gone through enough criticism and insults, and I’m immune to such things. I do feel for my mother, who would somewhat hurt when her son is attacked. But, I hope one day she see me for who I am, and not who she wants me to be. I hope one day she believes that I can take care of my “self” and have enough confidence in me to depart from her “self” when the time comes, if that time is before mine.
I would also make this the opportunity to “loose” unkind, inhuman, egoic people from my life, and find kind, human, spiritual people. Life is too short to hang with narrow minded people, who always look into their own interest, even when it damages someone else’s or planet earth.
May my writing be received with Love!
May my writing make a change on Earth!
– Nim –
A Moment with Nim! 