The First Time I Ever Saw Your Face

– #TMI warning! This article is about my 15 year old innocent “self”, feeling “Lust”, “Desire”, “Passion” for the first time. Mildly sexually explicit –

Above picture is a screenshot from the Video “Baby, Come Back” sung by the Boyband “Worlds Apart”.

It was his face
It was his cheek bones
It was his lips
It was his skin
It was his confidence

No, It was his eyes
Looking into mine
Through the TV screen!

How they were shooting
Lust, Desire, Passion, the Entire Universe into Mine

It was Everything, but a Picture
It was Everything, but a Sight
It was Everything, but an image in my Mind
It was Everything, but Nothing

It was Automatic
It felt Natural
It wasn’t wrong
How could it be? My Entire Body was Reacting!
How could it be wrong?

There was no stopping me this time
I finally went past the “Point of No Return”

I “Arrived” for the First Time
I “Completed the Business” for the First Time
I “Came” for the First Time

I “Saw” for the First Time
I “Felt” for the First Time
I Knew “Lust”, “Desire”, “Passion”, and my Body’s “Natural” Response
For the First Time

The First Time, I saw your Face

Maybe Only on TV

I was Fifteen!

Then,
I felt “Shame” for the First Time
I felt “Guilt” for the First Time
What Have I Done?
Why Did I feel this way?
Have I wronged?

That’s When I Prayed;

“Oh Dear Gods,

Please change me,

I like Boys!!”

Thank you who ever you are
The Lead Singer in this Song
From Boyband “Worlds Apart”

Little would you have known
An innocent fifteen year old Boy
Living in a Tiny Country
Hardly visible on a Map
Went through All of this
Just seeing you on TV

I hope you forgive me
For taking something from you
That wasn’t necessarily given to me
I know the part I played

But you were Flaunting
All that shirtless Dancing
All that looking into My Eyes
How could I Resist?

– Nim –

P.S: The Video

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