Forgiveness for givers…  Forgiven!

I don’t really want to light an oil lamp in front of a clay statue!
I don’t really want to water a tree that is over watered and dying of over hydration!
I don’t really want to pluck all flowers from a tree take it’s beauty away to offer them huge structures that holds some age old bones!
I don’t want to fund institutes that ignore a country’s poor people, but spend money to build sky high structures!

I don’t want to cover my beauty to help another control their desires!
I don’t want to cover my head to show respect to god!
I don’t want to wash my natural body fluids to show respect to god!
I don’t want to bow down so much until my forehead is dark to show respect to god!
I don’t want to encourage cutting bits of one’s natural body parts to show respect to god!

But

I want to respect elders who have faith!
I want to respect elders who haven’t understood yet!
I want to respect everyone who respects elders!
I want to respect everyone who is trying!
I want to respect everyone’s cultures!
I want to adjust to the best of my ability to respect a home and it’s ways!

And

I want to be an example for the young generation!
I want to be the answer!
I want to be the cure!
I want to be!

But

I can’t hurt anymore
I’m tired
One of these days I’ll probably take my own life

Because I don’t care of the stories the world would come up with!
I know who I am and how much I tried.
I’m tired!
I will be forgiven!

Then,

Will the world that made me tired be forgiven?

– Nim –

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