What more do we want from you?

Here I am kneeling in front of you in a strange country, in one of those many Churches built with your name tag. Everything was written in German, but from what I’ve gathered, it is an Anglican Church.

Of course it gave me a relief to see a Church that I can go in and light a candle. I found myself praying for my own peace of mind, praying to help me ease my pain, and a peaceful earth.

But, while sitting for a while, taking pictures, It really bothered me that we, as humans, pray for more from the one who ended up teaching so much, yet got crusified. Two thousand years later, your pain and suffering isn’t enough for us, we want more. We still place this mess of a world in your hands.

I believe you did your job, you were a peace warrior, who got misunderstood by the community during that time. How vicious would have they been, to crucify someone who spoke of wisdom and peace. Someone who promoted nothing but love.

It really saddens me!

It terrifies me!

I believe it is no longer in the power of our prayers, but in the power of our actions. This country I am visiting seems a blessed nation, I can see people freely moving around, not too scared of their belongings being stolen. Although I did notice the occasional beggar on the streets, which confused me.

If each of us took action to be kind to one another, our prayers will automatically be answered. I suppose it’s easier said than done. Especially when greed for money, power, status, and aversion towards others who do not agree with one, or who is doing better, and the confusion of all mind objects come in the way. But we can still try. I’m sure we can try, but it needs a majority shift I’m sure, or the flame of love will die!

I’m sorry for bringing more of my burdens to you. Halfway through my prayer, I stopped. I can’t bother you or God anymore. All I can request God is help kind and humble human beings to be stronger than the cruel ones. And lead those cruel to understand humanity.

In my short life, thus far, my own good intentions got misunderstood, or misused plenty of times. The hurt it brought me was enough to break my heart into a million pieces. If petty little me felt such pain, what pain would you have felt to be hanging their on the cross, looking at your mother. What pain would you have felt! What an unbearable pain you must have felt. Would have been a lot more emotional pain than the physical pain of crusification.

After all that pain,

What more do we want from you?

What more do we pray from you?

Are we so powerless not to do something on our own?

– Nim –

Love for our parents

Translation: It is not uncommon for Sri Lankan Buddhists to wish their beloved parents future Buddhahood.

For the immense service provided to us, for navigating us carefully in this cruel world, for doing the best job they know how to do, for lifting us over and above they ever managed to reach, as a thank you,

Why do we pray that we hand over the entire cruel world’s problems to our beloved parents?

Why do we wish upon them such pain and shock?

– Nim –

ශ්‍රි ලාංකික බෞද්ධ සමාජය
බොහෝ විට තම මව් පියන් ට
මතු බුදු බව පතන්නට පුරුදු පුහුණු වී සිටී.

මෙතරම් කෘර ලෝකයේ තම දූ දරුවන් තමන් දන්නා අයුරින් උස් මහත් කර, තමන්ටත් වඩා ඉහලින් උසවා තබන්නට ගත් උත්සාහයට ප්‍රත්‍යෝපාකාර වශයෙන් මේ මුලු මහත් කෘර ලෝකයේම ප්‍රශ්න විසඳන්න ප්‍රාර්ථනා කරන්නේ අපි ඇයි?

ඇයි අපි, අපේ රත්තරං මව් පියන්ට ඒ තරම් කම්පාවක්, දුකක් දැනෙන ලෙස ප්‍රාර්ථනා කරන්නේ?

– නිම් –

Maybe… Maybe… Maybe…

Maybe… It’s only a beautiful mind.
Maybe… None of it matters in the end
Maybe… All of it matters in the end
Maybe… I am crazy
Maybe… The world is crazy

Maybe… Wish for all beings to be happy…
Maybe… Work for all beings to be happy…
Maybe… Give it all to God and say no more!
Maybe… Give in to God and do much more!
Maybe… Give me to God and do no more!
Maybe… God will hear me in the end!
Maybe… God will take me in the end!

Maybe… Live up!
Maybe… Make up!
Maybe… Chin up!
Maybe… Fuck up!
Maybe… Give up!

– Crazy Weird Nim –

The other end of Scripture – A true human heart

We live in a world full of Scriptures, and followers of those Scriptures, and those who reject those Scriptures.

But have we stopped to ever swim across any of these Scriptures, to the hearts of those individuals who made such an impact?

Let me do the guess work, the answer would be an easy “No”!

I may sound too confident to ask a question and to answer it myself. But the truth remains, that we as a world of human beings, have failed those beautiful humans that existed thousands of years ago.

Let us first consider, His Holiness, Prophet Muhammad. It is not a secret to know Islam has become one of the most rejected religions. It is unfortunate, as that is a direct reflection on the failure of a community that attempts to give the highest regard to their teacher, His Holiness, Prophet Muhammad. I have no doubt about that true human existence. I have no doubt about some of the members of Islam community. How can I? My father was one of them. So maybe, instead of fighting with those who reject, it is time to question ourselves, how did we fail him? I believe in that true human existence, and I believe in Allah. But, I doubt some of the community, only because of their blind faith. They have not stopped to consider what it would have been like to be that beautiful man, His Holiness, Prophet Muhammad.

The most vastly spread news is about that most amazing man who was crusified. It is said that Jesus Christ died for our sins. Of course we go to Church, depending on which group of Christianity, and pray to help us. But, we also hate Muslims, and dislike those who worship 33000 Gods, and maybe call some weird mediators hermits! Not only have we managed to make 500 versions of Christianity for One Jesus Christ, we also teach to hate or reject others! Those creations of the same God. That is an Epic Fail if you ask me. Why on earth did that man die for a useless bunch like us? Why on earth did he suffer on a cross, unable to sooth his mother whose heart would have torn into pieces, while her beautiful boy was hanging on a cross? Once again, we are too focused on the Scripture, and have little time spent to empathize with that human life wasted on us!

I will now speak of the man closest to my heart, simply because of my upbringing; The Blessed Gauthama Siddhartha. We have managed to completely forget everything about that beautiful man. Starting from his first talk, to the most famous talks, refered to as Sūtra, in the Pāli Canon, that man had spoken of cause and effect, and spreading loving-kindness. Yet, we hate Muslims, we reject all Gods, and we love selectively. Somehow, Buddha’s unconditional love, had turned into a conditional self-cherishing dillusional affair!!! And thus we have failed that Prince who gave up all his wealth, and hopes of his father, the King, who would have been in such pain when his Son was begging on the streets. We have failed miserably!! Let us please sit one night, imagining what it would have been like to be such a kind soul, to be cherished, even with blind faith after thousands of years.

There are many other Scriptures, if I am to go on and on. In Hinduism alone, we can discuss countless number of Gods, although I seem to have a few personal favorites, only because of a weird calling, but let me park that as well.

If you have made it this far into this blog post, may I please request one favour? Please keep following your Scripture, what ever the one you were brought up in, but try not to fail those valuable human sacrifices.

I will leave you with one question, or maybe two!!!

Do you think, if Prophet Muhammad, Jesus, Buddha, Lord Shiva (and the army of Gods), and many others met at a single gathering, they would be fighting about who is the better human being?

If that was the case, why would we respect them?

– Nim –

හැඟුම් බර ඒ වේදනාව….

ආදරය …

සියලු හැඟීම් එක්තැන් කල හැකි වූත්
සැඟවුණු හැඟීම් විසුරුවිය හැකි වූත්
ලෝකයේ පැවැත්මට ජවය දිය හැකි වූත්
අසම සම වූ එකම හැඟීම වූ එය…

සැබෑ ආදරය….

පාසැල් වියේ පසු වන තරුණ තරුණියන් දුටු ප්‍රථම ප්‍රේමයන්,

මහලු යුවලක් එකිනෙකා කෙරෙහි දක්වන දයානුකම්පාවන්,

මව් පියන් තම දරුවන් කෙරෙහි දක්වන්නා වූ සෙනෙහස්,

නිවසේ සුරතලට හැදෙන බලු පැටියා තම ස්වාමියාට දක්වන බැඳීම්,

වචනයට සිමා වූ එවැනි හැඟුමන්
අසම සම වූ ආදර වෘතාන්ත….

ආදරණීය ආදරය….

උරුමයට නම් තාවකාලික
මෙලොව පරලොව සදාකාලික
ගැඹුරු සුසුමන් හි මිහිර ගොනු කල

හැඟුම් බර ඒ වේදනාව….


– නිම් –

A choice… maybe… Just a voice…

Don’t we all just want to be loved?
Or maybe feel accepted!

Don’t we wish at times to be guided?
and maybe feel trusted!

Don’t we all like to be forgiven?
Maybe just more than corrected!

Don’t we all just aim for those goals?
Maybe a little walk instead of the talk!

We can adjust ourselves, Or just fix others;
We can hide ourselves, Or be blind to others;
We can suppress ourselves, Or control another;
We can accept ourselves, and maybe forgive others!

Do we pick and choose our walk?
Do we deny our selves, Or transform our essense!

– Nim –

A journey to my universe, and that thing called "My Life"!!!

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